“Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me” ~ Matthew 28:10
These are among the first words that Jesus says after the Resurrection. “Go to Galilee.”
WHY?
Galilee is green and lush, full of hillsides covered with orchards, goats, wildflowers, and paths leading up the surrounding mountains.
Jerusalem is the opposite. It is set amidst the Judaean desert, surrounded by dusty hills, rocks, crags, and limestone. It is barren, punctuated by the Dead Sea.
Looking at these two places, it’s not hard to imagine why Jesus wanted to go to Galilee. Geologically, Galilee is full of life and Jerusalem appears desperate and struggling.
But I don’t think that’s why Jesus wanted to go to Galilee. Galilee is roughly 7-8 days walk from Jerusalem, so He would be in Galilee by Himself, with no-one following Him around, for roughly a week before His disciples would show up.
Why did He want to spend a week in Galilee by Himself?
Because it was His home.
He wanted to walk the paths He used to run when He heard Mary calling Him in for dinner. He wanted to throw a fishing line into the lake and catch fish like He did as a boy. He wanted to see the buildings and roads and villages that were rich with his memories.
He needed healing.
He had just finished a pretty tough week.
There are times when we are Jesus, and we need the healing that only home can give.
I remember being a young woman in New York, and I was struggling. I was struggling through some pretty tough times, and I was putting on a happy face. Nobody knew the truth. One night, I was talking to my Mom, and she was giving me a hard time about something… I don’t even remember what… and I finally let down my guard and told her everything. Every horrible detail. There was silence on the other end of the line, and then she said two words, “come home.” I packed up my belongings and came home. Just being at home was the first step of my healing. I can say with complete and utter certainty that the life I am currently living would not have been possible if I had not come home to heal.
There are other times that we are Mary, and our job is to create that home.
Here’s one thing I notice in Scripture: I notice that nowhere does Jesus say, “Wow, I just can’t wait to get back to my Mom’s house, because it’s always so clean!” or “Nobody knows how to do laundry like my Mom” or “You should see my Mom’s pantry- it is so well organized!” That’s because the cleaning and the laundry are not the things about a home that make it important.
What makes it important is the spirit of your home. It is the spirit of a home that makes it a place of healing.
So, how do we make our homes places of healing?
Make it yours:
- How do your family members talk to each other? With love? Out of a desire to help each other grow? Or with sarcasm and snarky jokes at each other’s expense?
- Do you talk about your family behind their backs, as if interacting with them is a chore?
- Do you look for ways to outsource your parenting?
- Do you encourage your husband to go out with his buddies so that you won’t have to “deal with him”?
- Do you insult your husband quietly by implying that his method of parenting is “not good enough” because it’s not identical to yours?
- Do you look for moments to spend time with your kids or do you try to find stuff for them to do to keep them “our of your hair?”
- Do your children work to help each other, or look for ways to drive each other insane?
None of these things is the spirit itself, but they are all symptoms of the status of the spirit of your home.
God gave you a family, so be a family.
That means you’re all on the same team. So act like it. Your husband married you, so he probably likes you. So be someone he wants to spend time with. I used to nag my husband about leaving his socks on the floor. Then one day, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who nagged as much as I did, so I stopped. Know what happened? He eventually started putting his socks away (most of the time) on his own and became much more pleasant to be around and looked for ways to help me that he hadn’t before. I changed the spirit in my home by changing myself. I changed my dynamic and it resulted in him shifting his. We got on the same team.
You’re also on the same team as your kids. The only difference is that you are their hero, role model, and coach. You are their first model of what kind of love they should expect from God. Are you an exacting perfectionist? They will believe that that is how God is. Are you relaxed and let them do whatever they want without holding them accountable? They will believe that that is how God is.
We are very busy and it is often easy to claim that we are “too busy” to do the things we know we should do. We know we should spend time one-on-one with our kids, but we are so busy, it seems impossible. So we claim that we’re “too busy” and don’t do it. We know we should plan date nights with our spouse to strengthen our marriage, but we’re “too busy,” and so it never happens.
But here’s the reality:
You only get 936 Saturdays with your child before they turn 18.
That’s it.
Now, are you really too busy?
Take it to the kitchen table:
What changes can you make to your home TODAY to bring to life a spirit of healing?
- Say “Good morning” and MEAN IT! When you see your family members first thing in the morning, you haven’t seen them for around 8 hours. Use it as a moment to reconnect, just like coming home from work or from a vacation.
- Say, “I love you!!” You love your husband and your kids- I know you do, you know you do. Do they know? Don’t just assume they know. Tell them…. a lot!
- Hug your husband. Not just the 3 second, “Hey babe” hug. I mean the snuggling into his big arms and listening to his heartbeat hug. Then pull back and kiss him…. no really kiss him….. no really….. kiss him.
- Hug your kids. Every one of them. Every day. Several times a day, if you can. Snuggle on the couch and read a book. Give them a huge hug when they go to bed. Side-tackle-hug them in the hallway. Even the ones who grumble and moan, “Mom! Stop it!!” Keep hugging them. My seven-year-old pretends to try to jokingly struggle to get out of my hugs, but he’s grinning the whole time.
These are all small changes in how you interact with your family members, but they will have a much larger impact than a new laundry system or chore chart. Why? Because they will change the spirit of your home. They change the currency and language of your home from competition and task-management to one of relationship and interaction.
